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Frogs And The Meaning Of Life
The last car I owned had a large flat dashboard, upon which I placed three hard clay frogs...brightly colored
and appearing to greatly enjoy their little non-life existence! As I drove with these frogs on the dashboard,
I discovered quickly that they moved (slid) around a great deal as I turned corners and sped up or slowed down
while driving. I also discovered how great my urge was to put them back "where they belonged" after they slid
from one place to another on the dashboard. It occurred to me how controlling and presumptuous it was of me to
"tell them" where they "ought" to be...I therefore began practicing letting go of the need to orchestrate
their daily activities on the dashboard and to “allow” them to move about freely, making their own
“decisions”…deciding their own destinies…It was a challenge for me to let go of that control and it began to
dawn on me what a challenge it was to also let go of that same control in how I interface with others in my
own life!
Does this ring a bell for any of you…strike a chord…resonate with the truth of how much you may struggle to
orchestrate the drama of the people in your life with your own agenda and needs, without full consideration
to the affect this has on the way others might choose to live, think, feel, etc…? Be aware of this as you go
through your day, and work to “let go” of the need to be right, to tell others what they need to do, think,
feel…Allow those with whom you come in contact the freedom to choose, even if their choices are not those you
would make, and even if they discover the decisions they have made are not working as well as they had hoped.
Remember what Thomas Edison said: “I have not failed. I have successfully discovered 1200 ideas that don’t work!”
Each of us learns through making decisions, taking risks, moving around in the world in unique and, hopefully,
creative ways. We get the results of our decisions, learn what works and doesn’t work so well, and move to our
next decision…and so on… and so on…Without the opportunity to move freely in our world, and in our heads and in
our hearts, we do not learn as much, and feel less satisfied with our sense of autonomy in our lives. Don’t take
the fun out of your lives by attempting to control each other…Explore! Live and let live! Like my frogs on the
dashboard of my car, we each deserve to be where we are whenever we are where we are...
Rocks as Metaphor
I like using rocks to symbolize concepts in our lives because they are solid and hold the hope and promise of
antiquity. They are something we can “stand on” and feel supported by. They are not easy to destroy and yet
hold no animosity towards us if we, through violence, attempt to destroy them. They maintain their integrity
in spite of anything which might happen to them. They are what they are without apologies.
Find a rock and study it closely. It may be basically round or irregular in shape. It may feel rough to the
touch or smooth, and the patterns in it may seem to be chaotic, without rhyme or reason. But look more closely
at your rock. See that the pattern is, in reality, perfect and complete, and has a beauty which is amazingly
simple and yet, “just right”. The look of the rock may appear dull and perhaps uninteresting, and yet, if
held to the light, many rocks shine with multifaceted points of brilliance and beauty. Also note if there are,
in fact, smooth aspects to the rock, which, if we focus only on the rough parts, are harder to observe. See if
you can stay open to observing the variations of texture and quality present in the rock. Hold it to the light
and watch it shine. Rocks appear to be hard and unyielding, and yet, with patient observation over a reasonable
period of time in a rock’s life, we can in fact note changes in the rock’s size, shape, and position on the earth.
In our lives, also, it sometimes seems as if we have more roughness than smoothness. Sometimes our lives appear
dull and uninteresting, but if held to the light, our lives can be shown to shine with multifaceted points of
brilliance and beauty. If we are willing to focus on the smoothness rather than always the roughness that life
offers, we are better able to see our lives more fully. Sometimes our lives seem hard and unyielding, but if we
are patient and allow a realistic time-frame for change, we see that a process is at work shifting our lives in
just the right ways. The patterns in our lives also seem, at times, to make no sense, but if we look more closely,
without judgment or preconceived notions of how it “should” be, we see patterns which are perfect and complete.
Or maybe it’s just a rock….but even so, it IS what it is…just like each of us. Think about it!
Char Elle En, ACSW
char@flowingwithlife.com
765-762-2049